Writing Is Hard And I Did Not Sign Up For This Madness!!!

Another NaNoWriMo gone. And another decade has ended. I’m finally sixteen. And what have I accomplished? N.O.T.H.I.N.G. *applause* Stop clapping! This is supposed to be a pity party for myself. *sad instrumental music*

Well, well, well. *rubs hands* Where do I begin? At the beginning of course. But there IS NO BEGINNING TO THIS PROBLEM OF MINE!

And that problem is that I absolutely, fantastically, woefully can not write all these stories I have in my head! Why is it so hard to put it down in words?! And the thing is, writing narratives or descriptives within a 1000 word limit is something I’m pretty used to. But this entire story I have in my head? Nope. My brain just goes: LOADING… NOTHING IN HERE… LOADING…beep beep// Please Reboot//

I’m. Just. So. Done. Thinking. I. Can. Actually. Write. A. Story.

But does that mean I’m giving up?

That’s where I caught you. I’m NOT the quitting type. If something doesn’t work out, I keep persisting (aka annoying the aforementioned problem) until it just breaks down, begs me to stop, and makes way for me… ahem, the queen.

So, I actually started this post to rant about how frustrating it is that I can’t type for more than a few hundred words before my brain shuts down, and I just keep editing what I’ve written and trashing it. That’s the cycle. And I’ve GOT to break it. Soooooo, this is going to be my New Year’s resolution.

Okay wait. If I actually make it my “resolution”, there’s a slight chance that I might not see it through. I mean, how many of us actually fulfil our resolutions within that year? (And no, I’m not calling out any of you, even if you feel specifically targeted XD)

Therefore, let’s call it the first entry in my list of “Superfantasicabsolutelyfabulous Stuff I Gotta Do Before 2021”. Even though one month is already over in this year (time flies baby).

And now that I’ve started my 12th grade, I’m neck deep in studying. So I actually get no time or the energy to write. To conjure up lines and verses of the beauty I’ve tangled in the webs of my imagination.

*sighs with a weariness that one aquires with the passage of time and an eternity of experiences*

    So, what am I going to do about it? I think I can do 3 things::

1. No matter how tired (physically or mentally) I feel, I’m going ask myself to “GET IT TOGETHER”, and just write. It might be shitty. I might scrap it all later. But I might as well write something. That’s more than what I’ve been doing so far anyway.
2. Try the Black Void Of Aaaaaaaaaaaa method. Yes, I named it myself. Yes, I’m proud of it. I’ll change the background colour to black (or the font to white) and just write. I can’t read back on what I’ve written. So, I can’t just keep reading them over and trashing it. After a certain period of typing, I can change the colour back and edit it. And hopefully not delete the entire thing again.
3. Literal writing. Not typing. Since I can only use my laptop occasionally, maybe I can write in my notebook? Like, at school when I want to de-stress.

So, if you have any ideas on how to cope with such a problem or just want to scream with me, I’m here.

/PS: I’m planning on posting about things I want to accomplish this year. Let’s see how many I actually end up fulfilling…/